Star Dusk, Nessie and Jacob All Grown Up
by BlodreinaBeauty
Summary: Renesmee has grown into a woman. Now that her and Jacob are in a romantic relationship, there are different obstacles to overcome. Nessie and Jake will have to swim through the turbulent waters of living together, her family moving away and maybe even a future family. But in the middle of all of this bliss something happens. Jacob and his pack get sick. I don't own Twilight.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter One

The first time he kissed me I felt like I was on fire from the inside of my soul to the very tips of my fingers that locked themselves in his hair. It felt right. So unbelievably right that I wasn't sure if anything could ever be wrong again. It lasted several heated, warm seconds with electricity pouncing through our veins. I never thought anything could feel like that. When I pulled away and looked into his eyes all I saw was love and trust. I looked sixteen then after all he was sixteen, well at least his mind and body felt that way. Really he was sixteen years older than I am. But that doesn't matter with true love.

When I was little, about nine, they explained to me what imprinting meant because I asked. Edward told him it was his job to explain. He did a good job. I was happy that I was his forever. That is what I wanted after all. And that never changed. When I was fifteen I started to think about him differently. It was never anything vulgar. It was never anything that made my father want to kill Jake. It was just different. We all knew it was going to happen. So that night when he took me out on our first date, wearing a short blue dress walking on the beach after going to dinner, it felt right to kiss him. And it felt even more right afterwards. Because neither of us did or said anything different than we would have if we didn't kiss each other. And that was how it was supposed to be. We would forever be each other's best friends.

"So Alice tells me that they might have to move soon." Jake says afterwards.

"Yeah I heard that too. I don't want to go with them. But I am only sixteen. I want to finish up high school before I leave. My parents will probably stay for that long." I tell him.

"They'd do whatever they asked you to do." He chuckles swinging my hand. I know that he is right. It's true they would do anything for me and I know it.

"We should get going soon." He says.

"My parents said I could stay out till midnight. They trust you." I tell him. I know that means a lot to him. He would never admit it but it's true. We watch as the sun sets on La Push and the twilight appears.

"It's beautiful." I say as I watch the colors appear and disappear upon the ocean.

"Not really, not compared to you." He says and turns to face me. Now it's stuff like that that just drives me crazy. He touches my face gently with one hand and I lean into his touch. His hands are so much bigger than mine but somehow they fit perfectly against my skin as if somehow the universe made him for me and me for him.

"That's because it did." He says. Oh right. He can read my thoughts when I project them. Sometimes I don't mean to. But around him I don't have my guard up so I don't care what he hears. I let him hear it all. He has every right to.

"The universe was thinking of me when it made you." He says wrapping an arm around my waist. I push myself into his chest leaning my arm around to his hair. I just stare into his eyes. He says the most perfect things sometimes. I don't even know what to say back to something like that.

"You made my world make sense, you know that?" he asks me with that Jacob like grin that I love so much. My memories flourish with it. Him pushing me on the swings, riding on his back, watching the sunset, chasing me on the beach, teaching me how to swim, and so many more beautiful times to come.

"Without you I'd be dead. And for that I will be forever thankful to you Jacob Black." I tell him leaning my forehead against his. I can suddenly sense his nervousness. The way his hands falter against my waist. I want to tell him it's okay that nothing has changed. But something did change and we both know it. But it changed for the better. We knew it was going to happen at some point.

"Jacob?"

"Hm?"

"Kiss me."

So he does. And it wasn't like the first kiss. This one was soft at first but then I pull his face against mine and it's rougher and deeper and more passionate than I have ever felt. I keep his hair in my hands and his grip on my waist tightens when I grant his tongue access into my mouth. I don't really know what I am doing but whatever it is it has an affect on Jake right away. I can feel him leaning into me and breathing heavier. The sound of his heart beating faster is all so perfect.

 _Jacob. Oh, Jake._

"Ness." He says pulling away and keeping his face against mine. I watch as his chest rises and falls. Wow.

 _Was that…good enough?_

"You have no idea." He mutters. After separating he takes my hand and we go back to his bike where I climb on behind him wrapping my arms around his waist and holding on tight. He seems to like that. I can feel his muscles tense underneath my hands.

 _Relax._ I remind him. I feel as he does. He smiles back at me before starting his bike and driving off onto the road. I have always loved riding with him. It's so freeing. And that sounds stupid coming from someone with vampire speed. But it there is something about a bike that just makes me feel like I am in charge of whatever I want to do. Plus it makes me feel like a badass.

"Don't let your father hear you say that." He says at a stoplight. I just laugh.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

Our relationship only kept developing to the point where we kissed all of the time. He drove me to school and the Cullen's decided to stay until I graduated that year, a year earlier than I was supposed to since when I went in I looked too old to be a ninth grader. Over a year with this relationship and we were developing fast. Eventually my parents sat Jake down for a very awkward relationship talk. He told me that they asked him to agree to wait until marriage to have sex with me. But that he wouldn't say anything until he talked to me first.

"It's up to you," he tells me.

"That's not true. It's up to us," I remind him.

"Well yeah but I want what you want I'm a teenage boy," he says.

"If I told you I wanted to have sex with you before marriage what would you say?" I ask.

"I would say okay."

"And after?"

"I would say okay."

"But you must care one way or another."

"But I don't. Our relationship has nothing to do with sex. I am in love with you and I want what you want." He reminds me holding both of his hands on my face. I lean into kiss him once on the mouth. I know that he is right.

"Let's tell them it's up to us what we do but we promise we will be safe either way and we won't do it in their house." I tell him. And I added that last part on there simply because that would gross me out. I do not need my dad to hear Jake's thoughts any more than he already does. Sometimes I catch Jacob looking at me and my dad mutters something under his breath or hits Jake on the shoulder. I don't ever ask why because I know why and we don't need to relive the awkwardness of my father knowing everything my boyfriend is thinking and feeling.

So we told them and they were proud of us for making our own decisions. However that led us to do some more things that we didn't before. We went out every weekend and I saw him almost every day. It was painful to not be with him. One night when he went on patrol and I didn't see him for 36 hours I thought I might go crazy. When I saw him I knew that I would.

He freaked out and grabbed me into a hug burying his face in my neck and holding me like we hadn't seen each other for a long time.

 _Are you okay?_

"Now I am," he says.

 _I missed you. I love you._

"I love you too. There aren't words to describe how much I missed you."

Eventually that got better. We learned how not to be with each other because that was going to happen at some point. It wasn't easy but Jake said it was difficult for the others when they became romantic too. Love is a strong enough bond without adding imprinting to the complications.

Graduation. Wow. I was valedictorian. My family was all so proud. They all went to the graduation ceremony despite what they should have done. They tried to make themselves look older than they were. And since it was only for a few hours it was all right but I knew that people would talk. I mean my dad looks like he is my age for Pete's sake.

"Congratulations!" Jake says as he grabs me and swings me around. I land on my feet kissing him a few times and remembering we are in public and pulling away.

 _Later._ I tell him and only him. He squints his eyes and I wink back. I was feeling bold and I wanted to do something different. Tonight, I would go back to Jake's apartment he got with Leah a few years ago. I never cared, Leah doesn't like Jake and Jacob already imprinted. Most girls would care but I am not most girls. And when Leah imprinted a year ago it mattered even less to me and her guy, who was human and moved here from Europe. Good for Leah he was a sexy son of a gun.

"Leave room for Jesus!" Emmett screams as he rushes between us picking me up in his arms.

"Congratulations to my favorite niece!"

"Emmett, I am your only niece."

"So, you are very lucky you are my favorite."

"Come on Ness we have a surprise for you." Alice tells me all giddy. Oh great.

"Do you know something about this Jacob?" I ask him.

"Maybe," he says with a smile holding my hand. He laughs at my reaction and just grabs my hand and pulls me along.

"Let's go Mini Bella," he jokes because she didn't like surprises either. I am my mother's daughter. I just shake my head and follow along because why the hell not? What else was I supposed to do? I get in the car with Jake and my parents and just sit there quietly while they talk the entire time. There was this happy overlapping feeling that we completed something spectacular. A lot of people were crying but not me, I was smiling. I will probably end up taking high school like my parents more than once anyway.

When we arrive at Billy's house covered in lights, food out on the table under a tent, and everyone I love all around it couldn't have been more perfect. Alice. When I get out of the car I go right to her and hug her for a long time.

"Thank you so much, Alice." I tell her.

"You're welcome. Now go have fun. Don't waste my party." She says. I nod turning around to grab Jacob's hand before rushing to the people. Seth and Leah are the ones I see first and hug them right away. Eventually I realize that Alice invited everyone. All of the wolves were there, my family, my friends from school, Charlie and Billy. Everyone. It was so perfect. It was a great ending to a new beginning.

I sit on Jake's lap as I watch Sam and Emily's kids play. Jared chases behind his little daughter as she teeters around and a very pregnant Rachel waddles to sit down. Everybody has a family now. Were all big kids and I can't wait to be a part of that. As I watch them I think of what it will be like in a few years when I have my own children. It was when I was thirteen when they started wondering if I was going to be able to. My first period told me I could. Carlisle said that there is enough room to have all of my organs in front of the stone that runs under my body. My skin can be penetrated but it's tougher and my temperature runs at the same that Jake's does. We have the same amount of chromosomes, which also means that our bodies think we are the same species and we can have kids that aren't defective.

"How many?" I hear someone ask me. I turn around to look at Jacob.

"What are you talking about?" I ask.

"How many kids do you want? I know you were thinking about it." he says. I was not expecting that. I think about it at first. I don't know. I don't really care. I mean I love kids so as long as I have them it doesn't matter to me.

"However many we have will be perfect." I decide.

"I think more than one. Having siblings was nice."

"Yeah I think so too." After all I did have a sibling growing up. He was older than me and smarter and he was my protector as well as someone who loved me. But he was my brother for a very long time. He was my brother. That may seem strange to some but it was perfect for us.

"It was perfect. We are perfect, Ness." He says.

"I have got to stop letting you read my thoughts. This could become dangerous real fast." I say.

"Yeah it could." He says back and I lean in for a kiss. When I feel that head flood through me when I touch him I pull on his hair and feel his hesitation, as he wants to moan against my mouth. I just keep him there for a while before I get hit with something in my leg and I pull away quickly.

"No baby making on my lawn!" Billy yells. We both just laugh and I look over at Kim and Jared who are kissing against the side of the tent.

"Why don't you tell Jared?" I ask him and Billy directs his attention to the other couple. I pick up the soccer ball and stand up.

"Wanna play?" I ask Jake.

"Soccer?" he asks.

"No Cops and Robbers. Yes soccer." I tell him.

He gets up with a smile and follows me out onto the field. I put the ball in the middle and call over a couple of the other people. Soon enough we have almost everyone playing. Rachel sits back and watches with Rosalie, Esme, my parents and the kids. They watched as the rest of us played.

Jake and I ended up on opposite teams. I was the team captain for Emmett, Alice, Leah, Embry, Kim, Emily and Colin while the others were on the other team.

We started out with the ball, kicking around. I might not be very good but I have muscles on my team as well as being fast so we ended up doing pretty well. With Embry as our goalie the other team only scored three points. At one point Jasper grabbed Alice and held onto her as they both laughed and he kissed her a few times.

"Hey no fraternizing with the other team Alice!" Emmett yells across the field.

When Jake came to the goal to score I ran up behind him and tackled him on his back. He ran around with me on his back while Embry kicked the ball across the field. I cheered for our team while Jacob put me down.

"Hey that's not fair! She attacked our team!" Paul joked. We went pack to playing and in the end our team won by one point. I met Jake in the middle kissing him hard on the mouth and pushing my body against his. It was getting increasingly difficult to control myself around him even with my parents around.

"You win." He says against my lips.

"Don't I always?" I laugh.

"You guys really need a ref." Esme says when we walk back to the table. When we are back we see that Sue, Emily and Rachel prepared an amazing turkey meal with corn and beans and mashed potatoes not to mention cookies and cake and beer. It was so incredible. I sat next to Jake at the table.

"Maybe you can be one for us next time, honey." Carlisle says with his arm around her.

"There was too much cheating going on." She says, "From _our_ children." She looks at Jasper and he just smiles holding Alice's hand and leaning against the tent post.

"We taught them well." Carlisle jokes.

Esme just pushes him and I watch as the exchanges go on. Everyone laughs, holds little conversations, jokes passed around and beer drank until it's dry and another bottle is opened.

"Hey Leah are you coming home tonight?" I hear Jake ask. He thinks that I am paying attention to another conversation clearly and since I am not touching him or releasing my thoughts to him he doesn't know.

"No. I was planning on going to Nick's." she answers. Nick is her boyfriend of a year. He's cute, sitting next to her on the other side, completely human.

"Could you maybe wait to come home until like the afternoon?" he asks.

"Yeah sure," she says, "But Jacob?"

"Yeah?"

"Don't make a mess."


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

My parents and our family are planning to leave soon. I knew they would have to. It's not as if they could stay here forever. And I will have my own life with Jacob. His pack duties aren't over yet and everyone around here knows me. I don't have to leave. Actually, I might be able to see people who aren't my family or the res now.

They were thinking Canada mostly since it's close enough that they come down to visit us whenever they want without having to travel for a while. I am taking classes at the local college but I don't really feel like it. I would rather just stay at home with Jacob. He has his own mechanics shop that believe it or not, Rosalie helped him with. They can get along for more than ten minutes and it is outstanding. But I guess time can change people. Just like time changed how Edward feels about Jake. He loves him now a lot. He would do just about anything for him and he trusts Jacob with my life.

He is bringing in money as well as it's not exactly difficult to get money from my parents but I want to have something of my own. I want to make my own living. I am pretty good with people and I like to work with them but I don't really like mental problems or drama since I have enough of that already.

One morning, as I am waking up in Jake's bed I roll over and don't feel the heat of his body next to me. So, I sit up looking around and realizing he isn't even in the room.

"Jake?" I call out. I hear rustling from outside of the door and he walks in seconds later. He already has shorts on, I am just in my boxers and a tank top from last night. I sit up and hold his hands as he kneels in front of my bed.

"Where were you?" I ask him.

"I made breakfast." He says.

"Oh good! What did you make?"

"Chocolate chip pancakes, bacon and cheese eggs." He says. All of my favorite breakfast foods. Why did he do that?

"Because I love you." He answers my thoughts with a smile and then looks down taking a shaking breath.

"What's wrong Jacob?" I ask him.

"Nothing," he answers right away.

"You look worried or something," I say, taking his hand and looking into his eyes. He shakes his head and then pulls out a small box from the drawer beside him. I watch as his nerves ebb throughout his body.

"I wanted to…well…"

"Jake?"

"I love you, for a thousand years…and I wanted you to know that nothing made sense before you. I was in love without understand why I couldn't imprint. I was in love without being loved back. I was sad and tortured at the thought that I would never get what my heart really needed. And when Bella got pregnant I thought it was all over for me. I didn't care what happened to me if she survived or if she died. I didn't even know why I was helping her anymore." He takes another breath.

"But then you were born and I didn't understand until I saw your eyes. And you are the most beautiful creature on this planet. You are the center of my universe and my only gravitational pull to keep my feet on the ground. You are my only reason for living and I will forever love you, take care of you, protect you, and make you the happiest you can ever be if you will do me the remarkable honor of becoming my wife. So…Renesmee Carlie Cullen will you marry me?"

There was only one thing for me to say.

"Yes."


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: Just so you know, I wrote most of this story when I was about fourteen. I have written several, very very very very long Twilight fanfictions before. This is just one of them that I am going to elaborate on. If there are some minor grammar or punctuation problems, that is why. Thanks! Enjoy!

Chapter Four

"What about this one Alice?" I ask as I hold up a short red dress that flares out at the edges. She looks at it considering and then nods.

"I like it. Try it." she decides and then sees a black pair of heels and grabs them.

"With these," she says, handing them to me. I am about to go into the dressing room when I feel a strange pain in my chest that makes me cough and try to catch my breath. What the hell was that? I look over to Alice to see her starring down towards the floor. I rush over to her, dropping the stuff on the floor and putting my hand on her shoulder.

"Alice what do you see?" I ask her. She looks away from the floor gasping and I feel that pain in my chest again. There's something wrong and the only reason I would be feeling a pain like that, one that doesn't feel like it is mine, would be if it were… Jacob.

"What's wrong with Jacob? Alice! What is wrong with Jake?!" I demand. She shakes her head as if trying to clear it.

"We have to go. Something's wrong," she says and grabs my hand.

"What is it?" I ask again. Now I am scared. I can feel myself shaking. "Alice, you have to tell me right now. Please."

"I can't see them. I saw confusing signals. Jasper…God, Ness. I don't know. Billy is calling you," she says and right on cue my phone rings. I pick it up right away getting into the car as she starts speeding back towards home.

"Billy,"

"Renesmee. It's the pack, Sam was sick. We didn't realize how bad it was until the pain came. There are legends about it but we never knew it would be this bad. We don't know much about it."

"Jacob?" I ask.

"Jake got it not that long ago. He's back at your place. I'm here too. It's spreading fast," he explains quickly.

"Where's Leah?" I ask. She has been living with him and Seth and now me for a few years now. She was tired of living at home. Honestly, Leah is one of my best friends.

"She's here with us."

"Seth is coming home too. We need you here, Ness." I hear something strange, almost like a loud groan in the background and then Leah's voice.

"Jacob!"

"What happened?" I demand, screaming, hearing my own heart in my chest. I get no response but I can hear pain in my Jacob as he suffers. "Billy! What's going on? Answer me!"

"Renesmee, come on," Alice says, grabbing my hand.

"Hurry," Billy says before the phone clicks silent.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five

All I can do is stay with Jacob. He needs me at his side all day. Even when I leave to go to the bathroom or attempt to heat soup for him, he is in agony. It is enough that I can feel our tether pulling just from the distance of the kitchen. Normally, I would not even know it was there. But it's like the very beginning, Jake told me. The first time he was away from me was terrifying and excruciating. It's like that but also having mono.

"My pack?" he asks.

"Leah is with Seth in her room. Embry is on the couch."

"The others?" he asks.

"Quil is holding Claire in his room but he doesn't want her to know how bad it is. She'll have to go back home soon. Sam is with Emily. Their kids are at your dads' place. Jared is with Kim back at their place."

Claire is fourteen years old now, I remember playing with her while I was younger but of course, I out grew her. 11 years later and I am ready to marry Jacob when she hasn't even reached the ability to be in a romantic relationship with Quil.

"Ness, I feel gross," he admits.

"I can get you a washcloth or something. I don't think you can hold your body weight up enough to take a shower," I admit. He shrugs but I can tell that hurts him.

"I know."

"I can probably bring you there if you can walk and then if you just sit down, you'll be fine."

He nods but there is reluctance in his eyes. I get off of the bed and reach my arms out in front of me. He locks his forearms on mine and then moves his legs to the edge of the bed. I grab his arms and try to help as he shakily lifts himself to stand. His legs are shaking bad enough that he can hardly hold up his own body weight. He puts all of his weight on me even as he just begins to stand.

But then he is crippled, leaning over my arms. His face falls in anguish and his body is starting to lock. His legs and knees are trembling so badly, I can tell they are going to give out. He is much bigger than I am and I can't support him the way I thought I could. He tries to lift the rest of his body up but he grunts and then falls back on the bed with a groan and a thud. I sit down, wrapping my arm around his waist.

"Jake," I mutter quietly.

He catches his breath for a long while. I rest my head on his shoulder. I can tell it soothes him just enough for him to breathe again.

"We need help," I say. "And I think that a shower will make you feel a lot better. You are all sweaty all the time. It's probably making things worse."

"Sure, sure," he agrees.

"So, what do you want me to do, Jacob?" I ask again. He shrugs. I know what he wants. Help. But from whom?

"You can just ask someone else in the pack to bring me there and help me, uh…undress," he mutters.

"Who? Everyone else is sick."

"What about Paul?"

"Sick too."

"Brady?"

"Not even on the reservation," I say.

"Fuck."

"Leah is the only one that isn't sick and is available," I tell him. He looks at me and then shakes his head.

"No way."

"Would you rather it be Emmett or Jasper? What about Carlisle? He is the least—"

"I'm not letting a vampire touch my naked body, Ness," he mutters.

"I'm a vamp, Jake."

He rolls his eyes at me and I realize that he doesn't have the ability to think through this right now. But I can think through it for him. If we are going to use this random spurt of energy right now to take a shower, we have to do it now. I know I will be leaving him in pain if I do it but I fear I have no choice.

I get up and he grabs my hand, begging in his eyes that will not come from his mouth.

"Please," he says.

"Leah can help. I promise it's okay."

He nods finally and then let's go of my hand.

"Hurry," he begs before I am running toward Seth's room. I try hard not to hear him groan when I leave. I knock a few times, hearing small voices on the other side of the door. Leah opens it and I peak my head in on our brother.

"Why are you away from Jacob?" she asks. "Is he okay?"

"Yes. Jacob needs your help. He's all gross and sweaty and he has enough energy to attempt to take a shower. I think it's a good idea but I can't carry all of his weight. We just need you to help us bring him there and hold him up while I undress him."

"Did Jake agree to this?" she asks.

"What do you think?"

We both hear a small groan from his room and I realize I have already been away too long. She turns to the room and then shrugs.

"If he gives me an alpha's orders, I have no choice but to listen," she says.

"I will attempt to make sure that he doesn't," I say.

"Seth, I'll be back. Try to sleep," she tells him, closing the door behind her. I grab her hand and pull her into our room where Jake is on the bed. I run to his side, putting my hands on his sweaty chest and kissing his tense forehead.

"Ready?" I ask.

"Leah," he says in surprise.

"Don't worry Jake. We've all caught a glimpse or two but I'm not interested," she says.

"I know. It's not that. It's just that you…I have more respect for you than to make you help your weakened alpha," he says in sadness.

"Stop being a baby and let's get you better."

He nods and then reaches his arm out. I grab one and Leah grabs the other. Together we pull him upright so that he is sitting with his feet on the ground. It was pretty easy. It takes a lot more effort for us both to pull him onto his feet. Leah grabs under his waist.

I put my arm under his and we let him put both of his heavy arms on our shoulders. He is able to stand this way, using us both to lift himself onto his feet.

"How you doing, Jake?" Leah asks.

"Not bad, Beta."

"Come on," I beg, tugging him forward. That first step takes a lot of work and groaning but then his legs are moving enough for him to continue. He moves all the way to the bathroom with our help holding most of his wait. We stop at the bathroom doors and I let go of Jake, going in first too move some stuff out of the way and allow him to lean on the counter.

"Leah, you can go," he says.

"If I do that, you'll fall, Jacob," she says.

"Le, you can go."

"Don't do this, Jake," I beg of him. "It's not a big deal. You would do it for her."

"It's not the—"

"Yes, it is, Jake. It is the same," she promises.

I rest my hand on his shoulder and he just nods, looking defeated. He closes his eyes and Leah looks to the wall, still holding most of his body weight up. I pull his shirt over his shoulders as he groans and then unbuckle his pants. If he weren't sick, this would turn him on. It always does. Luckily, he is too sick to even feel that right now.

I pull them off of his hips and then push them down. Leah helps him steps out and then the underwear. I pull them down the same way, letting them fall to the floor. I walk over to the shower and turn it on.

"Over here," I tell them both.

Leah helps him walk over and then assists him in sitting down on the bench in our shower. Once he is sitting, she walks out but Jake calls her name. She doesn't look at him. She has barely been looking at him this entire time.

"Thank you," he says.

She smiles and then leaves. "Anytime, Alpha."

I close the door behind her and start undressing. When I am naked, I turn to Jacob who looks at me with wide eyes and a confused mouth.

"Don't worry my Jacob. I'm just here to help."


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter Six

"Ness!" Jake shouts.

I turn to him and realize he is sitting up with his hands on his stomach. I hear vomiting from one of the rooms.

"What is happening?" I demand.

Carlisle turns to Jacob, placing his cold hand against Jake's warm back. He bends his head down to listen to his heart, though I am sure it is only for focusing only on Jacob's. He can hear all of our heartbeats. He stands back up and then goes into his back at vampire speed.

"Jake?" I ask, sitting beside him.

"Don't do that, Ness," he says. "I don't feel so good."

"What is it?"

"You might need to help me to the bathroom," he says. Leah stands up from her chair and rushes over to his side. Jacob's face becomes so pale it scares me. His eyes are glossy. His body is shaking and he is hunched over as if something is stabbing his stomach.

"Nessie!" he shouts. He doesn't have to explain anything to me. I can feel his sickness, his uneasy, wavering feeling that starts and ends in his gut.

I grab a trashcan and give it to him just in time for him to wretch into it.

I go back over to Carlisle because Jake doesn't need an audience. I feel bad for him, terrible even but I don't know what to do. Carlisle is rummaging through his bag when he finds his notes. He looks back in them and then to Jake. Finally, I am too impatient.

"Carlisle! Please!" I shout.

"Is this happening to all of them?" Leah asks.

"Most likely. Their body is releasing some of the poison that was in it. This is supposed to be one of the last things that happens. It's painful but afterwards, their body can heal without resistance," he says.

"I need to get to Seth," Leah says.

She is gone and I am alone with the two men. One is still throwing up into the trash can and the other is staring down at his notes, almost as if he is confused.

"What can I do?" I ask.

"Nothing. Make sure he breathes and doesn't pass out," he says. "I'm going to check on Embry. He shouldn't be alone."

Jacob coughs but turns his head toward Carlisle.

"I have to check on him," he says.

"No. No, Jake. Carlisle can do it," I assure.

Jake coughs again and then sets the trashcan down on the floor. he leans over his own body, hunched and in pain. He inhales deeply and I put my hand on his back, sitting next to him. I hear him take in another shaking breath and it scares me. I decide to distract him.

I show him love. Small glimpses of us together.

 _The way he holds my hand and presses it down into the mattress. The way he kisses the side of my neck. The way his arm goes under me to pull me closer. The way he lifts me and holds me easily on his waist. The way I wrap my legs around his body when he tells me to. The way we make love._

His breathing is normal again. Normally, that would have the opposite effect. But for now, he needed to feel okay. He leans his head on my shoulder.

"Ness, I just want this to go away," he admits.

"I know," I say back.

I hear crying from another room. I stand up when I hear it, keeping a hand on Jake's shoulder. It's Embry. It's a broken cry. It's intertwined with coughing, retching and fear. He has no one. Everyone here has someone but he doesn't.

"He's scared," Jacob says.

"What?" I ask.

"He doesn't do well with sickness. No one knows why but it freaks him out. He doesn't have anyone. For the rest of us, being alone triggers it. Imprints can make us feel a little better. I just threw up the entire contents of my stomach and I feel fine now that I'm with you."

"What's the point?"

"All of this that happens…when it's over, we can feel better. When it's over for him, he still feels it," he says.

"What can we do?"

Jacob shrugs but I can see the agony on his face.

"Some people made it…some didn't," he says, his voice breaking at the end. I put my arm around his waist and lean my head on his shoulder again. The noises stop and we can both hear Carlisle's voice talking to him.

 _It's going to be over soon, Embry. Perhaps you should come into Jake's room or with Seth. It will be better the closer you are with the pack._

"He'll be okay," I assure him.

"He has to be," Jake says. "He just has to."

I grab water from the nightstand and hand it over to him. He takes a few sips before laying back down. He closes his eyes hard for a few seconds after the room stops spinning. I kiss his forehead and lay beside him, putting my head to his chest so I can hear his heartbeat. It's fast but not dangerous.

"Do you feel any better?" I ask.

"I do, yeah," he says. "Better than I have in a while. I think the others are starting to feel it too. It feels lighter…like less of a burden."

I smile against him, though I know he can't see it.

"All except for one," he says.

"What do you mean?"

"I can still feel Embry's pain, Ness…and it's excruciating."


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter Seven

I feel his arm moving under my back. I sit up and see a gleam of sweat on his forehead. I kiss him gently and his eyes clench, as if he is still in pain. I thought this was going to go away soon. His hands clench into fists and a whimper escapes his fearful mouth. I reach down to soothe him, painting my fingers across his forehead and down his side.

"You're okay, my Jacob," I assure.

He is still asleep.

He squeezes my hand again. I keep him close but realize that he isn't waking up. He moans in his sleep and then rolls to his side where he continues shaking in agony. I pull the blanket up to his shoulder and lay by his side, trying to calm him. Nothing works.

Jasper and Alice are here. I kiss his forehead before leaving the room. At least he is asleep, even if he is in some kind of strange pain. The pair stand in the center of the kitchen together, almost smiling. Alice hugs me the moments she sees me. I lock eyes with Jasper and feel relief, almost so much so that I can feel light, as if I were flying.

"Thank you," I say to him.

"There is a lot of agony in here," Jasper says. Alice steps closer to Jasper. Their relationship baffles me. I always thought it was so strange that they work together so well and yet are so incredibly different.

"You should go back to Jacob," Jasper says.

"He's sleeping," I say with a shrug. Jasper suddenly looks ill. He grabs onto Alice's wrist and puts his other hand to his chest. He coughs, which is strange and foreign but it is almost as if he is choking.

"Ness! Ness!" Jacob shouts.

I look to Jasper with fear in my eyes. He sees it but points to the room. I run to him, knowing Alice will have to solve whatever Jasper's problem is. I land on the bed and put my arms around Jacob, who is sitting up and waiting for me.

"Oh, god, Nessie," he mutters.

"It's okay. You're okay," I tell him as I hold him still. His shoulders are shaking but he rests his body in mine. I hold him up, fearing his collapse if I don't.

"Did something happen?" he asks against me.

"No. No. Everything is fine. Nothing is wrong. Everyone's still in the same place. We're fine, Jake."

I can hear his raspy, fearful breathing against my shoulder. I lean my body into his and realize he's shaking. I pull away from him and look into his eyes.

"What is it?" I ask him. "What's wrong?"

"You were in my dream…you were dying. I thought it was real. It was so real. And I was frozen. Even when I woke up it felt like I couldn't move."

"It's just the fever," I assure. "I's nothing big. It's going down already."

"It is?" he asks.

I nod.

He bites his lip and looks down at my hands. He takes them, playing with my fingers as he leans to my body. I want to hold him, keep him safe from whatever terrors he felt before. Nothing works. He is still shaking.

"Do you feel okay?" I ask.

"Other than being terrified…yes," he says. At least he is okay. At least the sickness is starting to go away. I wasn't worried he wasn't going to make it. Now that it is almost over, I realize that I probably should have been.

"Jake," I say when I realize that he really is afraid. I grab his hand and then pull him to lay down with me.

"It was so real, Nessie," he says. "Are you sure everything is okay?"

"Yes. Jasper and Alice were here. There was something wrong with Jasper but actually I think it was just because he felt what you were feeling," I explain. I can hear Jasper and Alice now. He is okay.

"Do you want to get back to them?" he asks.

"No. I want to stay right here with you."

I can see his thankful expression. He lays back on the pillow and I pull the sheets to cover us. After a few long breaths, he is breathing easier.

"It hurt so bad, Ness," he says.

"I know," I agree.

"The others…it's almost over for them too," he says in a very tired voice. I can tell he would much rather be sleeping. I caress the side of his face and down his chest. I let him rest on me, breathing deeply as he tries to remember what he was going to tell me.

"Embry is still hurting," he says.

"Maybe if the entire pack gets together…we can help him. We can bring him back from all that pain. Do you think it would work?"

"It would have to do something."

"Maybe," I agree. "I hope so."


	8. NEW PUBLISHED BOOK

**Hello Everyone! I have just recently published my fourth book. If you like young adult fiction about teens trying to get through life, you will like my book, "My Socially Awkward Friends and I". It is about a group of people who are just trying to get through high school with some serious and mild problems of their own.**

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	9. Chapter 8

Chapter Eight

One day while Jacob was sleeping I slip out into the kitchen to grab dinner and sit on the couch with Embry when I see he is awake. I touch his head, hot, but not on fire. After everyone has arrived here, we stayed close. It made the others feel better, even Jacob. He has been sitting up on his own, sleeping better and feeling okay. At first, they couldn't stay away from their imprints at all but most of them are getting better. We were worried about the legends following this sickness. However, we have found that most of the wolves, after going through some excruciating stuff, actually get better.

I hear something coming from Jakes room so I stand up and see he is leaning against his doorframe. I set my dish down to run over to him but he holds out his hand.

"I'm fine, really Ness," he insists.

"Go lay down," I order him.

"I want to walk around," he says. I guess this is good, he is feeling better. I can only be happy for him. I lean back, eating and occasionally looking at my ring. It wraps around my finger twice in a diamond embedded silver band with one big red heart ruby in the center. It's so beautiful.

"Something wrong with your hand?" Embry asks.

"No." I laugh, "Just looking at my ring."

"Admiring?" Jake asks as he sits in the chair next to me.

"As always." He smiles. It is the first time that I have seen him really smile since he got sick. There is not a hint of pain or sickness in his pain.

"I wish I could take credit for picking it out," he says, leaning on the counter and putting his arm around my arm.

"Who picked it out then?"

"Well Billy did, a long time ago."

I don't even say anything, waiting for him to explain more.

"That was my mom's ring," he says.

"I'm honored to have something of hers." I say and stand up grabbing his hand.

"She would have loved you."

He has no idea how much that means to me.

"I would have loved to know her," I admit.

He squeezes my side and kisses my forehead. He keeps me close to his side when we hear Embry from the couch.

"Hey, Nessie?" I hear from Embry.

"Yeah?"

"Do you mind getting me some food?"

Food. He wants to eat. I try not to jump for excitement when I hear this. I nod and start grabbing him things to put together for a sandwich.

"Make that two," Jake says beside me.

I lean over and kiss him. he grabs either side of my face and pulls me closer, kissing me longer. His kisses are soft and gentle but sexy. He's missed me. I can tell by the way he pulls me closer to his body.

"Hey, you two! I'm still here," Embry says. We both laugh and pull away. Jake gives a small chuckle and leans back on the counter as I make the sandwiches.

I have never been more excited about cooking before in my life. They're getting better. They're going to be fine.


	10. Chapter 9

Chapter Nine

"Ness?" he asks, rolling over onto his side.

"Yeah?"

"Can we get married now?"

I smile at him, giving him an elated expression.

"Yes."

Jacob kisses my forehead and rolls over on his side. He puts his hand in mine and then looks into my eyes. I can see him scheming before he says anything else. I am waiting for him to tell me.

"How about tomorrow?" he asks.

"Jake! We can't just get married tomorrow! I have nothing to wear and Alice will kill me!"

He laughs that high-pitched chuckle that makes me smile. He puts his arm around my waist to pull me closer.

"Let's do it on the beach. You could go get whatever you want to wear today. We could tell Seth and Alice to put on their best clothes so they can walk with us. Your dad has got to have a suite lying around, right? Come on, Ness! We could leave for our honeymoon by Monday morning!"

I reward him with complete silence and confusion. I press my lips together and then roll my eyes as I think.

"Fine," I agree. "Let's get married."

The rest of the day is spent with Alice bickering about how she only has one day to plan it and my mom telling me how I have grown up. Rosalie, surprisingly, is the only one that hasn't said much at all unless she is commenting on how I have finally lost my mind and decided to marry the "beast" or "hound" or her personal favorite, "dog".

"What about this, Ness?" Alice asks. She holds up a long, large ballgown with beads and sleeves. I try not to make a face filled with disgust before I shake my head.

"This one?" Mom asks.

She is holding up the opposite. It's too tight and plain and long. All of these are too long. I need something shorter if I am going to get married on the beach. I need to flow with the wind of the beach and maybe even have some flowers.

"How about something short?" I ask.

"No! Nothing short," Alice says.

"Alice, you got married in something short," Rosalie says.

Alice shrugs her shoulders and then picks out another terrifyingly large ball gown. After a few more dresses that I hate, I decide I cannot take this anymore.

I think about asking a lot of people to bail me out of this. I was raised by my parents but I spent most of my time on the reservation. That means shorts and boots and a lot of running. It doesn't mean any of the stuff that they are showing me right now. I don't want to look like a princess.

"Alright, listen," I say to all three of the ladies that have been quarreling over me.

"I just want to get married. I don't want it to be this big deal. I just want something nice and happy and pleasant. I want something short with flowers and lace. Can we manage that?" I ask.

They look disappointed. I can almost see Alice's brain working to come up with an excuse but then Mom looks to her and raises her eyebrows. Alice rolls her eyes but then agrees.

"In that case, I think I know just the dress," Alice says. "Follow me."

We follow her out of the store and through the woods. After running for a while, the woods become familiar and I know where we are going. Home. She takes us up to the house and stops at the front door.

Jake.

I can smell him.

"Why is Jacob here?" I ask.

"I think he was talking to Carlisle about something, sweetie," Mom says.

That doesn't sound suspicious at all.

"Well, he can't see the dress so tell him to stay downstairs," Alice says.

We go up to her closet, passing Carlisle's office and the scent of my Jacob. When we arrive, she shuffles to the very back of her closet where she takes out a large clothing cover.

"Is that yours?" I ask.

She nods.

"Rosalie's right. I had a short dress when I married Jasper. I thought you should wear something younger, but you aren't young anymore. We should stop treating you like a child. You can wear this," she says, opening the zipper.

A short, white dress is revealed. The bottom is layers of beautiful white cloth, embroidered with details of flowers and jewels. The top has a sheer portion that will cover my chest and shoulders but does not have sleeves. She flips it around to the back where a small corset is revealed, strings falling down from every angle.

It's beautiful.

"Perfect," I tell her.

She gives a small smile.

"Well then, I suppose we should figure out something with that hair of yours."


	11. Chapter 10

Chapter Ten

"I'm gonna go check on Jake," I say. I have been eager to figure out what he came here for a while now.

"Fine," Alice says. "But take your hair back down. I don't want the groom seeing anything he shouldn't."

"I think that ship's sailed, Alice," Rosalie says.

"Okay, ladies. Let's drop it right there," Mom says. "Let's not forget, I am her mother. Let the girl see her fiancé."

I nod a thanks to my mom before taking the pins out of my hair and dropping them on the table. I walk downstairs, trying to move slowly so that I can hear them before I go in there. No matter what, I can barely understand them. I have been practicing too, but nothing seems to be working. They are talking about me but the rest is unclear.

I knock on the door of his office. Carlisle opens it. Jake is sitting down with his head on his hand. I walk past Carlisle and put my hand on Jake. He turns around with a smile on his face when he sees me.

"What are you doing here?" he asks.

"Girl stuff. What's going on? Is everything okay?" I ask.

"Oh, yes. Actually, I'm glad you're here, Renesmee. Jacob was just asking me about medical possibilities," he says. He turns and sits back behind his desk. I sit next to him but he doesn't meet my eyes.

"Are you worried about something, Jake?" I ask. He finally turns to me. his face is slightly red, which concerns me but I don't ask about it in front of Carlisle. He shakes his head, giving me that Jacob smile and reaching over for my hand. I take it. His hands are sweaty. What is going on with him?

"Not exactly. Jacob was just asking me about what the possibilities are for you…as a woman," Carlisle says. What the hell?

"You may believe these questions to be awkward, Renesmee but I am a medical professional and the only one you can see, by the way."

"I know," I say, nodding. But he is right. It is awkward no matter how professional he is. He watched me grow up from the time I was born. Knowing that he knows that I am having sex with Jacob is more than a little weird. I don't know how to handle this conversation.

"So have you to ever actually had intercourse?"

"That sounds worse than just saying sex, Doc," Jake says with a beat red face. Carlisle looks to me. I know my eyes are wide. I can feel my heart in my chest. I look to Jacob. I don't want to answer these questions.

"No," Jake admits.

Carlisle nods but I can tell he is surprised. We've done just about everything else. But we have never actually had sex. We didn't want to rush into it. let's just say that wasn't always easy but it made it a little easier knowing that my dad would know almost as soon as we did it. that has kept that feeling at bay for just a bit longer.

"When you do, are you planning on having children?" he asks.

"I didn't know if I could."

"Well you get a period every month. Your organs seem to be doing their job. Your layer of vampire crystal is actually pretty superficial. Since you can survive on either blood or food and you have never had a problem with a regular period, I think it is safe to assume that you can get pregnant and give birth."

I smile at Jacob when I see his relieved expression.

"As we know, wolves are generally fertile, correct?" he asks Jacob. Jake nods, putting his head on his hand as he leans over, trying not to look awkward but actually making himself much more awkward than he was before.

"Sam has a kid and my sister does too so I'm guessing so. But I know Leah can't."

"Theoretically meaning your children may not be fertile," he says, almost as if contemplating it himself. Then he seems to think better of it and shakes his head, writing something down on the paper in front of him. "Daughters."

"About the actual act itself," Carlisle starts. I want to turn away and run but decide that I should probably hear this. "Jacob, you won't have to be extremely gentle with her, as she is part vampire. However, Renesmee, you may want to be conscious because your vampire speed and strength may actually outweigh his when he is not phased."

"Wait. Doc. Hold up," he says, putting his hand on the desk and leaning forward, dropping my hand. "You're saying that you think _Ness_ could end up hurting _me_?"

"Quite possibly, Jacob," he says. I almost laugh but decide that would not help his ego right now. maybe I would end up hurting him if I am not careful. I have no idea how strong I am in comparison to him in sexual acts. When we make out and do other things, he is always doing it. what if I was…on top? Would it be different? What a strange thought process.

"And if you do not want to have children right away, you will have to find other methods of protection."

"Why?" Jake asks.

"Because your body heat will…well it will melt a condom," he says. Oh my god. We are not really having this conversation. This is not really happening.

"Great. So what do you want me to do?"

"Well in theory, nothing. We know that regular medications don't work on Nessie so that is not an option. I suppose I could try some kind of implant, but if hormones don't work, I don't see how that would either."

"So if we're going to have sex we have to know that she could get pregnant no matter what we do?" Jake asks.

"Yes."

"I guess that's the best birth control yet. Edward will love this."

Jake looks at the ground and then back at Carlisle but I can see his hands shaking as they clench together. I wonder if Carlisle notices his demeanor change.

"Is it dangerous?" he asks. "Not sex. Giving birth. Carrying the baby. Will it kill her the way it did Bella?"

"I don't know. It shouldn't, given that Nessie's body is so much stronger than Bella's was. But I don't know how it will react. There is a possibility that the baby will be part vampire. If that happens, it could react quite the same way that Ness did inside of Bella."

"That killed her, Doc."

"I am aware."

"So what do we do about that?" he asks, still shaking. I want to reach over and grab his hand, tell him that I will be fine. But I can feel his anxiety from here, his fear. I can feel it pulling on our tether, poisoning both of us.

"I have done a lot of research and speculation. I can only make assumptions because there has never been a case before in any history we can find. I do think that there is a 50% chance that you will have a human baby, totally normal and possibly pass on the werewolf gene without any vampire traits at all," he says.

"What is the other possibility?" Jacob asks.

"That Nessie has a hybrid like herself. Since her body is equip for them, I see no reason why it would be dangerous. but there is a third option, I am not fond of."

"Spit it out," Jake says. "You're killing me."

He is. Carlisle is taking too long to explain this. Jake is shaking badly now. he knows that something is wrong. That is why he came in here to talk to him. He knew that things would be different compared to the average couple.

"The DNA might not match up. given how different you two are, it could create some sort of mutant. The DNA could actually scramble, not know how to replicate and in turn…well the possibilities range from death of baby to death of mom, to death of both."

With a curse under his breath, Jacob stands up and leaves.

"You have to give him comfort, Renesmee. You are the only thing important to his world."

I know. I can feel his pain. He's not far enough for it to hurt but he is far enough away that he won't hurt me when he phases. I think he is outside by now.

"Is there any way at all to stop from getting pregnant?"

"Not any way that is full proof. But there is the classically old method. You can track your cycle and only have sex on the days that are the least likely for you to get pregnant then Jacob could simply…pull out."

"Great." I try not to get red.

"While it is not complete, it is much more likely that you will not get pregnant if he does this than if he stays in you," he explains. Wow. This is really happening.

"That chance that we both die, how high is it?"

"According to every time I have calculated it and everything I know about you, I would say it is pretty low, Ness. But I don't think that is going to matter to Jacob."

I feel him phase. I should get to him, comfort him.

"Thanks, Carlisle," I say before running outside to my Jacob.


	12. Chapter 11

Chapter Eleven

After convincing Jacob that there is almost no chance that I will die from pregnancy, he is over the idea. Though sometimes I think when we are kissing, he stops himself because he is thinking about it. he is thinking about the fact that it could kill me and an unborn child. I hate that he knows that. I hate that Carlisle told him but most of all, I hate that it is a possibility.

Jacob's kisses became rushed, needier and much more involved than ever before. His hands find places they never have before. Sure, they have been a lot of places but every time he touches me, his entire body starts shaking, almost as if he's aching for me. it's as if he suddenly realized that he could have sex with me and his body is craving it. craving me. It's strange to have that kind of control over a man, over the man that I want so badly.

"Ness," he says against my stomach. He looks at my underwear and then up at me. I know he wants to take them away, to rid us of that one layer. I have seen him naked before, even touched him when he's naked before but sex is a totally different scenario.

"Can I?" he asks.

"I think we should wait," I say.

"for what?"

"Ugh…I don't know," I say. He sits up, putting his hand on my stomach and looking at my face, almost as if totally taken back by everything we just did. He stops it all at once the moment he sees that I am reluctant. I want to be with him but if we have waited this long, maybe we can wait just a little longer.

"We don't have to wait but I just thought that we could wait until our honeymoon," I admit. I don't know why I like the idea of wearing a white gown and having Jacob take it off me, lay me down, make me his. It's a nice thought but not as arousing as it is to actually be under his touch.

"I have been waiting a very long time for you, Ness. If you wanted, I'd make love to you right now but if you want to wait for marriage, I'm okay with that too," he says.

"Well…what do you want?" I ask, draping my arm around his back.

"I want you," he says in a voice so deep and dark I know he is being truthful. His body is shaking again, needing me. I look down to his underwear and back to my eyes. We look into each other for a long time before he shakes his head and looks away, almost disappointed in himself. "But I want to wait until I marry you."

"What?" I ask, confused.

"I want to wait until you and I are sure, until there is nothing between us but love. I don't want it to be just because we are horny and want sex. I want us to share that love because it's part of our relationship."

"Wow, Jake. How old are you again?" I joke.

He smiles but then looks serious, playing with my hair in his fingers. "Is that okay?"

"Yeah. That's okay."

"Also, Carlisle said that you could get pregnant with no problem. We won't know until it happens but, Ness, if you really can, do you want to have a baby a few months after we get married?" he asks.

I shake my head.

"I'd rather enjoy married life a little longer than what Edward and Bella got," he admits.

He is right. I would rather enjoy time alone together before we can love another little one. And I really do want children, perhaps more than one. But sometimes I still feel like a child. I couldn't imagine raising one right away.

"Do you think it'll be different when we have children?" I ask.

"What do you mean?"

"Do you think we'll be different? When Bella had me, she said that she loved me more than anything. I think that meant even more than my dad. Maybe it was pretty equal but what we have is so different," I say. I don't mean to think about it in such a negative way. But I can't get it out of my head that some part of my connection to Jacob will fade if I have to share it with others, even though I want them.

"I mean, Emily and Sam seem the same to me," he says. I realize he doesn't understand what I am saying so I have to explain it better, say the whole thing.

"Will our connection fail or somehow lessen because we have to share it?" I ask.

He looks almost sympathetic. He shakes his head, putting his hand to the side of my face in a comforting tone that only my Jacob can pull off. It makes me snuggle closer to him, rest my forehead on him.

"I know I will love our children, heart and soul. I will devout myself to them. But Nessie, I couldn't imagine feeling this way about anyone else. You are the only person that I imprinted on. You are the one that I am physically and emotionally bound. The connection we have will only ever get stronger with the more love that we produce." He smiles a little, putting his hand on my stomach and looking down at it. "When we make love and I put a little baby in here, you and I will be more connected than we ever have."

"I believe you," I promise, "and I love you."

He lays back, putting his arm around me. his body is still shaking. I think that's strange but decide not to think much about it until he pulls me close to his side. He makes me lean my head on him, resting my entire body so close I am almost on top of him.

"Something wrong?" I ask.

"Nah," he says with a shrug. That is a definite yes. Something is very wrong.

"Jake? What is it?"

"I just…I can't be with you if I know it could kill you," he says. That's what all of this was about. His body wants me but his mind is terrified that he might be the reason I die. And if I die, no more Jacob. What an awful thought. I realize just then that my body is close enough to his that he hears this entire thought process.

"I didn't want you to know," he says.

"Well it's hard to hide," I admit. "There is almost no chance that will happen. I don't want you to be scared about something that isn't even in the near future."

"But it is. It is in the near future if we want to be with each other completely, and I know you want that too," he says, back in his darkest voice.

He's right.

"I think it's worth the risk. I think risking some strange disease is worth it if I get to have a baby."

"You won't get to have a baby if it kills you," he says, his voice cracking on the last part. He looks away, trying to hide it but I see the whole thing. He swallows hard when I turn his face to look at me.

"Let's just focus on right now," I beg.

He breathes through his mouth once, I think to calm himself down before nodding.

"You're right."


	13. Chapter 12

Chapter Twelve

"Are you nervous?" Alice asks.

"About marrying the love of my life? No way."

"You must be nervous about something, human. You're shaking like a leaf," Rosalie says.

"Don't worry. I was just with Jacob. He isn't much better," Leah says with a smile. I am so glad to see her smiling after being in so much pain. She has a real place in our pack. I love being so close with her after she watched me grow up. I think she always liked me a little more because I made Jacob happy. Making Jacob happy meant he was nicer to her too.

"Actually he's worse," Bella says with a smirk. Her purple tight dress suits her well. She always looks nice but I will be happy to walk with her looking like the Bella that I have always known. "But at least he isn't your father. I think Edward might have a heart attack."

Rosalie gives out a short laugh, putting on her beautiful light blue, soft pleaded dress. She slips her shoes on as Alice adjusts her straps. The two talk and fidget with each other while I look at my long hair in the mirror. My hair is still it's red curly self but at least now it is partially controlled, with a bit of it pulled back and the curls falling along my shoulders.

"You look beautiful, Renesmee," Rosalie says with a smile. "I think we should get your dress on."

I nod. I know she's right. I have a lot to do. Mom turns to the door.

"I don't want to see it yet," she says with a smile but I know this is emotional for her. She doesn't want to give me away. After this, I will live my Jacob full time. "I should probably talk to Edward anyway."

Once she is gone, Alice helps me stand and brings out my short, flouncy dress with a beautiful short veil and Rosalie pulls my silver shoes out. I am so excited to marry this man I can hardly stand still. But there is one more thing that I am thinking about today. Tonight. What will I feel tonight when I am with him? will I be with him completely? Is that what he wants too? He told me he would but I don't know.

Once my look is complete, Rosalie and Alice leave to make sure the guys are ready and check on any last-minute changes that need to be made.

"What's on your mind?" Leah asks, adjusting the veil on my head.

"Jake," I admit.

"What about him?"

"You don't want to know," I say with a grin and a shrug. She laughs a little and then nods.

"It's alright. He's been thinking about it too," she says. "As his Beta, I pretty much hear his thoughts all the time."

I feel bad for her on that one. That doesn't sound pleasant for a girl like Leah.

"Just make sure you're both gentle and don't be afraid. If you are meant to be together the way fate has shown, you will be together in all ways."

"You're right."

"As for the walking part, don't trip. Don't make your dad cry and be happy, Nessie. You guys really deserve this," she says with a smile.

Then I believe her and I am ready. I join the others outside where I see the beautiful hall has been set up. Jacob is just on the other side of these doors. I wait with the others while they talk and wait for the ceremony to start.

"Everyone is here, Ness. They will be so glad to see you," Alice says in a cheerful tone that only Alice can possibly create. She has been so happy recently, but even more so when she gets to throw a party.

"So glad to see me marrying a werewolf? I doubt it," I say. But I don't care. I love Jacob. I can feel him even now. He's nervous but excited. He's not scared, which is good. He just wants to see me, be with me. I can feel all of this in a matter of seconds. I know he can feel my nerves too.

"They don't care about that. They are just glad that he is yours. You two are good together and he takes care of you, Ness. Most people agreed to work with the werewolves when you were young. The vampires and wolves are a truce. They don't care that he's a werewolf," she says.

Maybe she is right. There hasn't been much distain between them in a long time. I think that was partially our doing. With the wolves not being able to hurt me and the other vampires seeing that truce, maybe we did start something. We didn't mean to. We were just in love.

"Ready?" Alice asks.

I nod.

She turns Jasper.

"He's shaking out of his boots, Ness," Jasper tells me with a smile. "Want me to calm him down for you?"

"That's alright. I think it's good for him," I say with a smirk. He winks at me before heading down the aisle with Alice. Then Rosalie and Emmett and then Leah and Seth before it's my turn. I turn to my dad. He smiles at me but I can already tell that he doesn't want to do this.

"The moment you were born, I loved you, Renesmee. When I knew Jacob imprinted, I was angry at him because I didn't want to share you, not even because it was him. I knew that with a protector like Jacob, you would never be hurt. With a lover like Jacob, you would never be alone. He is right for you and I know you'll have a beautiful marriage," he says. He is always so good with words it shocks me every time.

"Thanks, Dad," is all I can muster up.

But it is enough because we are then walking down the aisle toward my love.


	14. Chapter 13

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Chapter Thirteen

Then I see him.

And the rest of the world slowly falls away in pieces like milk tipping over the side of a counter, a lot of the milk spills right away and then it slowly drips down waiting for the rest to go too.

When I see him and lock on eyes on his, he gives me that Jacob smile that I love so much. That one that says, "Sure sure" is all I ever wanted to see.

He is staring at me as if seeing me for the first time, as if imprinting all over again. He looks amazed. I knew that I looked good but the way he always looks at me makes me feel like I am the only girl in the world. And the fun part is, to Jake…I am.

When I walk up to him Edward gives my hand into Jacobs and I watch as Jake mouths, "Thank you." To him before Edward smiles and turns back to his seat with Bella. Then I stare into his eyes.

"Hi," he whispers and it is such a Jacob thing to do that I know all of that worrying was for nothing.

"Hi," I whisper back holding both of his hands.

We repeat our vows looking into each other's eyes like we are clinging to life. When they are all said, I can hear people in the audience sniveling and I don't even look to see who it is. I feel Jake's hands are so sure, so soft and warm against mine. They are so comforting. And wow he looks so cute! He is wearing a bowtie, my favorite thing ever and a button up shirt with a jacket. Sure it's normal but not on someone like him.

Then it came time to say those words that every little girl wants to say to that perfect person on her wedding day. And I get to say them.

"I do." And he repeats.

"I do."

The second he says we can kiss to seal the deal Jake is grabbing me and pressing my mouth on his. It is a little harsh for public but it makes our point and I can't wait to see what is in store for later if that is what I get now in public. He pulls away as everyone claps and cheers around us. We run up the aisle cheering with them and then are shuffled into a back room while people mingle around and the food gets ready to serve.

"You look incredible, Mrs. Black."

And it couldn't be more of honor to hear him say so.

The party was incredible. The entire time I couldn't stop talking to everyone. I got to see Renee and she told me that I should really visit soon with Jake. Charlie threatened him, but what's new, right? Rebecca was so excited to see Jacob and I was thrilled to meet my nephew. She thought we were strange and that my family was strange but she would only be here for a few days and then she would leave anyway. The Quileute's were great and wow Seth can dance too! Alice and Jasper couldn't stop showing off while Emmett and Rosalie made out in the corner like teenagers at prom. It's sort of cute, I decided.

The cake was great. It was chocolate with chocolate frosting and I must have eaten at least two pieces. It is one of the only human foods that I really do love over blood. Plus I went hunting yesterday to make sure that I didn't need anything for a while besides human food since Jake and I are going on our honeymoon after this.

My parents didn't cry about me or freak out when I left and I was glad because I didn't know how to handle any of those things. But when it came time to leave I saw my dad falter and Bella pull him to the side and whisper something to him. I barely noticed so I don't even think my dad was reading my thoughts. He also seemed a bit more focused on Bella at the moment. It was sweet to see them together. How they needed each other reminded me of Jake and I.

Alice packed my clothes but I made Rosalie help so that she didn't go crazy. I don't know if that was a good idea or a bad one. I guess I'll find out when we get there. I hug a lot of people before leaving. It was but eventually just got tiring. I got to my dad where I just hugged him for a while without saying anything at all just like last night.

"I love you dad," I remind him.

"As if I needed a reminder." He smiles, "I love you too, Ness. Remember we will be around if you need us."

They decided to take this opportunity to move themselves. It was time anyway. This would be better for the entire family and they would probably be less bored with everything that they do. I was glad when they decided. It also sort of forces me to grow up. I need to be my own person now.

"You have always been your own person." He tells me, "And anytime you want to come home for whatever reason you just call us okay?"

"Okay." I tell him because I know that if something comes up. I will do just that. Nothing of course will happen but I will call them anyway.

"I'll miss you." I say.

"I'll miss you too, more than you know." He says and lets go.

"We need to stop before I cry." I decide.

"Me as well,"

He pulls away and looks back at Bella who is walking over here. Oh great. Speaking of crying…

"Bella try to be rational please, love." He says to her as they pass. She just brushes him off and laughs.

"I am not going to say anything but I love you and if you need anything at all call us. We will be back for holidays." She tells me and hugs me.

"Thanks mom." I tell her, "For keeping me."

"Keeping you?"

"When everyone else said that I was a monster and that I should be destroyed you knew it wasn't true. You and Rosalie, you saved me. So thank you for that," I tell her and hug her tight.

"I love you mom,"

"I love you too baby. Go have fun,"

I turn around to see Jake already in the car. I get in the passenger side and he reaches his hand over to hold mine. I take his hand in mine as we start driving.

"You ready to leave?" he asks.

"I'm ready to grow up." I say, "I am ready to be your wife for the rest of forever."

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	15. Chapter 14

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Chapter Fourteen

The room is beautiful. Jamaica.

We overlook the beach. The wood floors are light but everything here feels exotic. Jake looks to me with new eyes. Every time he stares at me I know he is thinking about what will happen when we are together, clothes off, wrapped in these very sheets. It's just about to be morning by the time we arrive. The sunrise has just started to peak over the ocean when we set our bags down on the floor.

Jacob looks to me, putting his hand out toward me.

"Do you want to?" Jake asks.

I nod.

"Me too," he says.

"I'm gonna, clean up a little," I say. I am just wearing the same tank and shorts that I put on when we left for the plane. It's not exactly sexy. But then again, I guess clothes won't really be a factor in what we are going to do tonight.

After I brush my teeth twice, I brush my hair and take most of my make up off. I don't need it for this. He wouldn't want me to have it on. Luckily waxing means that I don't have to shave anywhere. I am done in under five minutes. When I slip out of the door, Jake is sitting on the edge of the bed looking lost. I walk over to him. He doesn't even notice me until I am standing right in front of him. There I touch his face and he brings his hands around my hips.

"How does it feel to be married?" I ask him.

"About as good as anything could feel. What about you Mrs. Black?"

"I like hearing you say that," I tell him and push my hands into his hair.

"I like saying it." he agrees, "I have waited a very long time to be with you like this."

I touch his face softly and he leans towards my hand with a smile. I take his hands in mine and pull him up so he stands over me. I reach up to kiss him and he leans down so we meet halfway and then we are kissing passionately against each other. I meet my body against his so that he can feel me again. He gasps into my mouth and I smile pulling his tongue into me. I let him explore my mouth however he wants to and soon we are gasping against each other.

I lift his shirt up a bit brushing my fingers against the soft skin of his hips. Every time I do something like this he pushes himself forward with a moan. He is actually much louder than he led on before. I guess since we are alone and we are married and there doesn't have to be anything separating us he feels like he can let go. And I'm glad because now I will too.

After his shirt is off and, on the floor, I lean my breasts against his chest and he kisses down my jaw line. His hands work at the rim of my shirt until he gets it over my head and it goes to the floor with the other one. I stumble backwards as his body follows mine I am pressed against a wall where I can dig my fingers into his hair and clutch my hands against his back. His kisses and tongue trail down my neck to my chest where they linger for a while until he unclasps the bra because he can't stand it anymore. I let him toss it away and now we are pretty even but I can tell we need so much more than this.

It's crazy. I sort of feel dizzy with love and passion. When he holds his fingers on my shorts, I nod letting him take them off and push them past my hips. Then I let him continue to kiss me down to my belly button and all the way back up the entire time I am gasping for breath and moaning against him.

"If you keep moaning like that I am going to end this early," he says against my ear and then licks me there. I take his hips in my hands before pulling his shorts off and pulling him against me. He's so hot and I don't mean like attractive while he is that too. But he is literally sweating already and I can feel the heat coming from…everywhere. And it's all over me. I love every second of these feelings.

He lifts me up so that I wrap my legs around his hips and my arms around his neck so that we can push against each other this way. I keep pushing my hips on his to the point where we are both moaning and gasping in the best ways. This time it doesn't seem innocent. It seems real. It seems like what a couple like us would do to each other.

"We need to take these off," he says. I nod as he sits down on the bed. He lays back his head on the pillow as I pull his boxers off of him and trail kisses all the way back up to his mouth. I feel him twitch his hips up to mine. He flips me over very quickly and pulls rips mine right off of my body so they tear into shreds.

I lean my fingers down against his chest all the way along his nipples and his stomach and his face and hair.

"Ready?" he asks me.

I nod.

His expression is nervous. He leans down so that our bodies are touching. I pull my legs apart, vulnerable and then let him hold me under my back. His face is hovering right above mine when he reaches down between us.

I can feel him and then suddenly we are one. He gasps and his head drops to my shoulder. his entire body shakes so bad I think he is convulsing.

"Ness," he mutters. He pushes inside me slowly and completely. Though it hurts, I want to feel him more. I let him push himself closer until he can't go further.

"Are you okay?" he asks in a wavering voice, hovering above me. I nod, unable to form words. He starts moving, grabbing onto my hand and pushing it into the mattress. He pushes against me several times, moving in and out. It feels so good but also new, different than anything I have ever felt before.

After a few seconds, it starts to feel good, really good. It feels like everything I have ever wanted is right here. He is holding onto me, making me feel good and wanting me more than anything in the world. He pulls my back up with his arm underneath of me. he kisses along my throat. He bites my lip when things get heated. He loves on every part of me.

Since I have seen him finish before, I know the signs. But they are so different when he is with me like this. His body starts to tense but I can feel it all over. His hand squeezes mine just like he always does. His eyes meet mine and his face contorts to pleasure.

"Ness," he whispers.

"I know," I say.

I watch him just minutes after he pushed inside me for the first time, finding an insanely pleasurable high.

I bite him instinctively and only take the tiniest bit of blood before kissing him and holding him there. I feel him squeeze my hips so tight I didn't even know that was possible as he muffles his scream into my hair.

I feel the warmth as it fills me up and takes me in.

He leans up to kiss me once and then pulls out with a low moan and I hold his face in my hands kissing him again. He rests his head against my chest for a while before I see the bite mark on his neck that is still there.

"Don't worry about it Ness I'm sure it's fine," he says.

"Does it hurt?" I ask.

"The bite? No it felt _so_ good," he says and I believe him too. He touches something on my neck and looks up at my eyes with a slightly worried expression. He looks down on my body as if inspecting me or something. His eyes top at my waist where he runs his fingers across my skin.

 _What is it?_

"I bruised you," he says.

"It's okay it'll go away in a few seconds." I remind him.

"Doesn't it hurt?"

"No, not at all."

He looks up from me to the headboard and just grins.

"What?" I ask, sitting up and turning around. There are two very distinct handprints that are just my size pressed into the wood. How the hell did I even do that? There are marks on the top around the rim that clearly fit Jake's hands and a broken lamp on top of it.

"It's probably good we didn't have sex before marriage," he says.

"Why is that?"

"I don't think it would be very easy to hide," he says with a laugh.


End file.
